


Look up the Definition of Love

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1823347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long night, Sam had slipped up and finally called Dean out on his feelings for Cas. Once back at the Bat Cave will Dean finally admit his feelings for Cas or will he keep lying to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look up the Definition of Love

Sam and Dean were sitting at a bar. The smell of alcohol and sweat filled the air. The world had pretty much gone to shit, once again. Sam had barely recovered from the trauma of the trials. All Dean Winchester wanted was a cold beer, and some stale beer nuts.

This need for alcohol led the brothers to a sports bar near the batcave. The bar was crowded, people playing pool, hanging with friends, and others looking for some company.

Dean went to the bathroom, leaving Sam alone for the first time that night. A beautiful girl walked up to Sam, they started talking.

Sam was just trying to be polite, his head was pounding, his body still hurt. He had come in for a beer because Dean wanted too, that was normal. He didn't want Dean to worry. Sure the girl was nice, but Sam just wasn't up for any socializing, plus the girl didn't deserve to die for any particular reason. He shouldn't spread his bad luck around. After Sarah, he had learnt his lesson.

Dean came out of the bathroom, to see his baby brother being hit on. Sam could use the distraction, the girl was hot. Dean came up behind Sam quietly, he only wanted to grab his beer, and walk away.

"Hey Dean," Sam said, and then he turned to the girl. "I'm sorry, Kelsey, but this is kind of boys night out, another time."

Kelsey wasn't clueless, Sam didn't seem into her. She nodded and bowed out gracefully.

"Want to get out of here?" Sam asked, his headache had turned into a major migraine.

Dean looked confused towards Sam for a moment before nodding. The two walked to the impala.

"You know I could walk home, and you and Kelsey could have some quality time." Dean suggested, thinking that his brother's crappy mood was due to the fact that he interrupted a potential hook up.

"Thanks but no thanks." Sam said. He so desperately wanted to sleep. His nerves were fried.

They got in the car, normally the sound of the impala was comforting, but tonight it just hurt Sam's head more.

Dean saw Sam and it was clear he was annoyed. "Ok so if it wasn't the girl, what's bothering you?"

Sam should have known better than try and bullshit Dean, he always saw through him. "Headache, nothing else."

Dean sighed, whenever Sam hid something from him, it meant it was bad. So Dean decided to let Sam believe that he had fooled him.

"The way that the girl was looking at you, bro you could have totally gotten laid." Dean stated.

Sam laughed once; "then you and Cas must be married." Crap Sam thought, he didn't just say that. Damn it why was his head so stupid. He had promised to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable.

Dean almost slammed the brakes. WHAT THE HELL?! "Wait...what?" Dean asked his eyes narrowed in his confusion, he looked towards Sam.

Sam blamed his altered mental status. "Oh, come on Dean, I don't care who you like, but it's obvious that Cas matters to you a lot."

Dean was starting to get annoyed. "Ya because he is my friend, that's it, that's all."

Sam wanted to believe that, but he always felt like the third wheel in their conversations, and he knew what flirting looked like. "Dean, you may not see it, but everyone else does. But I'm not pushing you or anything, just be honest with yourself."

"I am honest with myself! And Castiel is just a goddamn friend. Drop this Sam." Dean stated. What the hell! Sure Cas meant a lot to him, but that didn't mean that he loved him or some bullshit like that.

"Look, the two of you basically act like you are in a relationship, you should look up the definition of love, but either way I just want you to be happy." Sam said.

Dean couldn't believe his own brother was saying this. Dean had told himself over and over again that he thought of Cas as a brother. Because that was all!

Sam noticed the look on Dean's face. "I'll never mention this conversation again."

Dean nodded, thank god they were almost at the batcave, where Cas was currently. Damn it! Dean had no desire to see Cas.

Sam barely got out of the car, Dean followed his brother in. "I'm going to crash, night, Dean."

Dean saw Cas at the table, just where they had left him. Cas was researching Lucifer's fall, hoping there was something that he didn't know. That way they could find a way to reverse the spell. The three of them were hoping that Lucifer had looked into a way back upstairs. So far no luck.

Sam nodded at Cas as he left to his room. Dean heard the door shut. And he knew that Sam would be out like a light within seconds.

"So, um...Cas...how's the research going." Dean asked feeling really awkward. If he left that would mean that Sam might have been onto something. This was just another normal night.

"Not well, there is nothing new. I was hoping to find information that would help me regain my grace." Cas said looking up at Dean, something was strange. Dean seemed...what was the emotion...tired...no uncomfortable.

Dean kept thinking of what Sam had said, what did it mean to be in a relationship? He was trying to convince himself that there was nothing between him and Cas, sure Dean thought about Cas a lot but that was because Cas just got himself into trouble a lot. And Dean wanted to protect everyone. That was all.

Cas got up and walked over to Dean.

"Are you alright? You seemed troubled." Cas asked.

Dean nodded, "Nothing's wrong. I'll help you with the research."

Cas nodded and sat down, Dean sat opposite him. The sat in silence, flipping through book after book. Dean remembered a similar memory. He was sitting with Lisa at a table like this one, researching Lucifer's cage, trying to save Sam.

Cas looked up at Dean, he had a small smile on his face.

Dean shook his head and stood up abruptly.

Cas was confused what was going on?

Dean walked to the kitchen, and grabbed a water bottle. He chugged it.

Dean knew his sexuality, people did not wake up one day and just suddenly change one of the most fundamental things about themselves.

Cas was worried about Dean, he walked up to him, thinking that if he asked a second time, perhaps then Dean would confide in him. Dean was not the most open person after all.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Cas asked, he placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, he thought this would be a comforting gesture. Instead Dean jumped at Cas's touch.

Each time Cas touched him, it made Dean uncomfortable. He always felt sparks. He told himself that it was because he was an angel, but even as a human, Cas made his skin tingle. What the hell?!

"It's just something Sam said." Dean mumbled.

Castiel wondered what Sam would say that would upset Dean. Cas always felt at a loss in social situations. He knew that he wanted to make Dean feel better, after all Dean was the person he cared most about.

Dean wondered how Cas felt. "Cas...um...what do you think love is?" Cas would know the exact definition, and it would be clear that Dean felt nothing.

Cas was confused at the sudden topic change, but he answered. "Love is not definable, and there are many different kinds of love. For example, there is love of your faith. Or there is love for ones family like you and Sam, and then their is romantic love. I for one think love is like what I feel for you. Seeing as you are the person I care most for."

Cas was quite proud of his answer, he thought he had grasped the subject of love pretty well, after the years he spent observing it, and his time on earth. His feelings had been heightened when he fell from heaven. He knew that he loved Sam and Dean. Sam was like a brother to him, and he assumed since he had a more prominent connection to Dean, that his love for him was different. A more powerful kind of love.

Dean's eyes widened. Did Cas just say he loved him?

"Was that not the answer that you were looking for?" Cas asked. He was reliving the conversation wondering where he went wrong.

Dean didn't know what was going on in his head. Cas said he loved him. Dean took a calming breath. It didn't work. His heart was racing. He felt like a teenager again, this felt like the first time he had ever talked to a girl in more than a friend way.

Cas moved closer to Dean.

Why did Cas always have to invade his personal space?! They had a talk about this!

Cas looked Dean in the eye, wondering if he could detect the reason for Dean's odd behaviour.

Dean swallowed, was Sam right? Could he really have actual feelings for another being? A dude? Even if he did, why should he try? Everything in his life ended in heartbreak.

Castiel placed his hand on Dean's arm. The worry clear in Cas's eyes. Dean didn't jerk away this time. He liked the fact that Cas knew that something was bothering him.

Cas's hand slipped down to Dean's wrist, where he could feel Dean's pulse. "Your pulse is much faster than usual."

Castiel ran through the possible reasons for a quickened pulse, stress, danger, exercise, attraction, heart failure...etc. None seemed to fit the situation.

Dean moved closer to Cas, his body didn't seem to be listening to his mind. Dean finally admitted to himself that had been struggling with his feelings for Cas for a long time. He had lied to himself over and over again. Now that he was starting to see the truth, was he going to act on it? Did he really have the guts to do this? After all every time he put himself out there he either got hurt, or he hurt the person he cared about.

Cas and Dean were inches apart, so close that Dean could feel Cas's breath on his face.

Castiel, felt his own heart race. It was a strange feeling, this was one of the weird sensations he had to get used to after he had lost his grace. He ran through the reasons for the accelerated pulse again, and realized that this was due to attraction.

Castiel unsure of what to do, he waited for Dean to do something.

Dean couldn't stand the tension any longer, he could practically feel the electricity in the air.

What the hell?! He had fought monsters, been to heaven, hell and purgatory. This shouldn't scare him, Dean thought as he closed the space between him and Cas.

The moment their lips met, Dean felt an undeniable amount of attraction. Their lips moved in sink, as if they had been lovers for an eternity. Dean pulled Cas in closer, grabbing him by the trench coat.

Cas could not help but enjoy the feeling of Dean's lips on his. He realized this was the first time he had truly felt human since his fall from Grace. This was his first true human experience. Cas let his hands move, he didn't think about it, he only did what felt right. All he knew was that he liked the feeling of Dean's body.

Dean was for once as confused as Cas. All he knew was that his body was telling him, that he needed Cas. He was burning with desire.

Dean decided for this one night he could be happy. For this one night, screw the world. He wasn't going to think about others and what people thought. He was going to enjoy himself.

Sam Winchester smirked form the doorway to his room. He had woken up thirsty, he was about to get water, when he noticed his brother in a very passionate make out session with Cas. He had the desire to shout out I told you so, but Sam felt like he had intruded on to many personal moments already. And this was his cue to close his door. Sam decided the water could wait. He was just glad that his brother was happy. Sam grabbed his iPod from his duffle, he may have been happy for his brother, but he had no intention of hearing how happy his brother was.

And Dean was incredibly happy. He had no idea where the night would lead, or what this really meant, all he knew was that Cas made him feel alive again. He hadn't felt this way in a long time.

Castiel decided in that moment that being human wasn't such a bad thing after all.


End file.
